The Real Problem

"Anyone can become angry. That is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way - that is not easy."- Aristotle.

     There is really only one psychological problem holding us back - each of us individually and all of us together. This problem is a victim mentality.

     We hear it everywhere: Trump is oppressing me or Clinton is oppressing me or taxes are unfair or no one listens or why doesn't someone fix the environment or I can't help it (i.e. I'm disabled somehow) or you make me feel (fill in the blank) or I'm no good (i.e. a victim of myself) ...

     We all get victimized. Sometimes we need to defend ourselves. And anger can be a positive motivating force at times. But being a victim is a choice.

     Being a victim is the choice to either passively accept your victim status and get walked on, or to fight back - in other words, it's a kill or be killed attitude. The law of the jungle.

     With everyone harping on how unfair life is, is it any wonder the world is messed up? A victim mentality - a kill or be killed mentality - justifies anything, no matter how inhumane or unjust.

     That's something to think about the next time you get angry.

     If you ever doubt whether a victim mentality is a kill or be killed attitude, just visit a prison and see who most inmates think the real victims are.

     Are you really a victim or just afraid of something (afraid of taking responsibility, afraid of accepting your powerlessness, afraid of being inadequate when you do exercise your power ...or ...?

     Because anger is inseparable from fear. Anger and fear are just different forms of our fight or flight response to danger. In essence, fear comes from believing we are vulnerable. And we often are.

     How much more scary it is, however, to be a victim ... So we fight the demons we blame for our vulnerabilities ...

     Yet how empowering to be an honest human who admits vulnerabilities and addresses them constructively. How empowering to be one who sees her or his own virtues and vices in other people ... who isn't ruled by the law of the jungle, who stands up for what's right without sinking to the level of a criminal.

     Is life unfair, or is it just life?