Dearest Susy,

I am you
You are me
Love is True
And we are we

Graph Theory And Us

The true ugliness of the great power technocracy gives ambitious mobsters seems shrouded in the mist of technocracy's compartmentalizations of us. The violated residue of capitalism adds the great economic rewards of specialization.

Here we all float amidst a fog of others, isolated. Unwitting conspiracies or at least conspiracy theories offer to connect the dots into something Bigger. And all the while we are just seeing dysfunction by design yield its natural consequences.

Dots connected in healthy, functional ways yield power too, of course.

I mostly think of thinking as connect or disconnect the dots. Dots are experiences, and connections are relationships among those experiences.

This approach may not live or die with the computer-mind analogy and neural networks, but it has its limits.

Consequences

Natural consequences are the sweetest revenge.

- Paul

D-Day

Go-Army Paulyanna Conway's Dissing of Daily Disasters, D-Day Edition [The D stands for Delivery of my fiancé Susana Verduzco's latest argument to the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals]:

For as much property as Trump believes he controls, he knows precious little about ownership.

Just once I'd like to hear ownership of a misstep from Trump, or from the government lawyers lying to protect the lawbreaking doctor who attacked my fiancé then tried to cover up, or from the country club "Republicans" who spend more money worsening sexual abuse causes than on healing and prevention.

I know just what it's like to "know" everything without studying, like Trump. But I've always had to own missteps before I could earn self-respect. As usual, it all comes back to the mirror; if I saw a piece of meat staring back at me, I would still be making Godless or anti-God choices too.

Meanwhile, Good luck finding a satisfying love life with someone who's meat to you, Donnie boy. And Good luck blustering creative and wise choices out of the other meat you see around you. I threw away the stinky T-shirt I got from being there and doing that.

Good news though: If we own and learn from missteps and misinformation, they change into lessons. Have a great stay in Club Fed, Trump.

Drama Bonding

There's something in psychology called "trauma bonding." That's when people feel emotionally attached after they've experienced some trauma together. For example, Stockholm Syndrome, where a hostage feels loyal to a kidnapper. Maybe we learn to associate a person with some intensity or energy, and that makes the relationship feel meaningful or something?

Anyway, many of the relationships I've been in and seen were based on what I'd call "drama bonding." In the past my drama bonds - "friendships" - didn't feel right unless we were facing some crisis.

I'd say genuine loving commitment gets replaced in trauma/drama bonds by mob boss loyalty. All this has me thinking of Trump and his army of wannabes, who don't seem to feel okay about themselves unless they can play the heroes in some big crisis they've created.

I used to do that all the time. These days, when I'm with loved ones I'd usually just as soon calmly discuss art and philosophy over a beer, or go hiking or watch a movie or something together. Not all that different from things I do when I'm alone, really. But then his alone time must crazy for Two-Timing-Trump ... What does he even see in the mirror?

US versus Trump

When I was in the U.S. Army there weren't any soldiers of different colors - skin pigmentation didn't matter, we were all green.

That's why the patriotic answer to Trump's "us against them" politics is us for U.S.

Afasufupa Unscripted Episode 1

Paul Hanley and Susana Verduzco, aka "Mexican Donald Trump," are now producing a weekly podcast, Afasufupa Unscripted.

In Episode 1, Paul and Susy discuss their shared spiritual mission.

It's not covfefe.

It's Afasufupa.

Unscripted.

Listen here:

https://soundcloud.com/paul-hanley-237215425/afasufupa-unscripted-episode-1

Reality and Opinion

"There are two answers to every question - God's answer and everybody else's - and everybody else is wrong when they disagree with him." -
Tony Evans

Or we might say there is reality and there are our perspectives.

Either way, our opinions aren't the yardstick of truth - they are the yardstick of the limits on our experiences and the limits on our willingness to open ourselves to new experiences.

I would say everyone's honest perspective is correct in the sense that reality genuinely is manifesting itself to us as we perceive it.

The E-F Zone

"A wise man proportions his belief to the evidence." - David Hume

If I told you that the reason the US is involved in dozens of military conflicts around the world is that we are in a trade war with the Martians, who have been hoarding the good Coca Cola on their planet, a reasonable response would be asking to see my evidence.

You might even quote astronomer Tabetha Boyajian, who said,

"Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence, and it is my job, my responsibility, as an astronomer to remind people that alien hypotheses should always be a last resort."

And yet, and yet, and yet ....

Mothra, still feeling the pain of defeat at the hands of Godzilla, can accuse presidential candidate Tulsi Gabbard of being a Russian asset without the tiniest drop of evidence - in fact, with oceans of evidence to the contrary - and people take her seriously...?

If only my pronouncements had that kind of sway ... we could get back the real cola that has cocaine in it ...

But that's just what President Trump wants me to believe ... or is it?

See what I mean? There's no end to complete gibberish, once you start stepping into the evidence-free zone.

Payment

"Sometimes one pays most for the things one gets for nothing." - Albert Einstein.

And sometimes one pays nothing for the most valuable things one gets.

A Taste for the Special

     My red upper lip stands me apart. We are all rooted in the same soil but they push me away in the wind.

     My mate once brushed up against me. ‘Twas the lower lip red on that one. The One who completed me cut away for a girl’s pleasure.

     Side by side we stood, flexing but not falling. Now One is in front of her. No, by now the irreplaceable has been thrown into the dirt to rot into a meal for those of one color. Or does the grave lie apart?

     Yes, it must lie apart like two red lips smiling.

     Flowers are not human. But I sense the tup-tup-tup of her gleeful approach. Back to cut me away and watch me wither.

     To be discarded with my beloved Other? Our together graves apart from the one-colors?

     The girl recognizes our specialness. She has taste.

     Is that boiling water I sense?

     Yes. The girl has taste.

Making Choices

The toughest and most important thing we can do is make choices. So people convince themselves they don't have a choice. Genes, environment, and most of the rest of psychology can easily degenerate into one big excuse.

Success

"To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived - that is to have succeeded." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Crime “Prevention”

Existing crime "prevention" policies, whatever their "good intentions," are spreading crime; it's no secret that giving "offenders" - what a dehumanizing term - criminal records often makes people homeless, jobless, resentful, unstable, and lacking in social support - all factors pushing them back toward lives of crime. Placement on one of the multiplying array of registries, (not just for "sex offenders" any longer) aggravates the problems while simultaneously chewing up and spitting out law enforcement resources that could have been used on prevention that - perish the thought - actually works, like education.

What's so appealing to me about fighting for the rights of the "worst of the worst" from a practical perspective is that any positive changes for "them" which bring our laws more in line with the Constitution while reducing crime have a trickle-down effect on "lesser" crimes and "offenders."

For example, counterproductive "sex offender" registries have been declared perfectly constitutional on the basis of what Supreme Court Justice Kennedy called our "frightening and high" probability of committing new crimes. This was based solely on a long-since discredited re-offense rate from an "expert" author of a Psychology Today article. Re-offense rates for all crimes are controversial, and sex crimes especially so, but whatever the real numbers, research consistently shows lower observed re-offense rates for "sex offenders" than for "non sex offenders." This means that by the Supreme Court's reasoning, "non sex offenders" belong on registries even more than I do.

You might take a moment to mentally contrast my desire to protect everyone, from innocent victims to repeat "offenders," with the conventional approach of singling me out for cruel and unusual punishments, - which the Supreme Court has erroneously ruled aren't actually punishments, so new ones can be added after I've served my time. Did you catch that last part, those of you who have ever rolled through a stop sign? The day may come when your punishment never ends too.

Moving Forward

"I'm not so much about the why. I'm more about What can you do differently moving forward?" - Patty Sneed, the best counselor I've ever had.

If I had a nickel for every mental health professional I've told my story to, I could pay off Donald Trump's billions in debt and then maybe he wouldn't feel such pressure to pay his undocumented workers bare subsistence wages - a win for everyone. And I'm not the only one who went to therapy under the impression that all you have to do is dig through your painful past until you understand yourself and then you'll be cured. Twenty-five years after my first therapy session, however, I'm still telling my story and I can still know exactly why I shouldn't smoke and do it anyway.

When I told a friend I start the first class in a psychology PhD Monday, she said, "Good, then when you're Doctor Hanley maybe you can refer me to someone who can fix me."

After explaining that I won't be that kind of doctor, I said, "Anyway, I can fix you now with three simple words: 'Make healthy choices.'"

She protested, "I'm trying to do that!"

I said, "I know. But you'll notice none of the three words were 'pain-free.' or 'easy.'"

A Lot of Knowledge

In my life, when the stakes have been high it has taken more courage to take on minor uncertainties than it has to take on major known dangers. A man with a gun out in the open would probably scare me less than entering a strange house where there might be someone dangerous.

Yet my knowledge has been an even greater enemy than my uncertainty when, instead of staying in the day, I've let my fear hold me back because I "knew" what was coming.

They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. (Call 1-(800)-THEY-SAY if you don't believe me.) But a lot of knowledge can be even more dangerous if it controls us.

Good Days

There's a bumper sticker saying something like, "A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work." What convinced me I should go back to writing these posts regularly is my version of that bumper sticker: "Any day I write creatively is a good day." By composing something every morning, I guarantee my day has been a fulfilling success almost before it's started.

I submit that you can ensure you have no truly throwaway days if you figure out how to complete the sentence, "Any day I (fill in the blank) is a good day." I'm convinced there's some activity or accomplishment that perfectly suits each of us and tells us we're living a meaningful life every time we do it.

Reactors

Family and other loved ones can be like the fuel in our gas tanks, or they can act like a stuck emergency brake we have to release to move forward.

I've been blessed with supportive loved ones, but even they wouldn't have been enough to keep me going if I hadn't detached with love from several people who "brought out the worst in me." That's a rather irresponsible way of saying it, though; the truth is they were just living their life by their rules and I became my worst self in response to those rules.

My biggest mistake was thinking my stagnation or outright regression around certain people meant I needed to work something out with them; really it was a sign I wasn't being true to my own values (or just as often, hadn't fully worked out what my code was).

Much as I wanted to be independent, I was a follower (a reactor).

It's easy to rebel; any fool can charge a machine gun nest. Truly "leading" our own life in a way we can "live with" is our greatest challenge.

Flavor

Here's the kind of word play insight that tastes as good as homemade ice cream to me when I arrive at it: Over editing of flavor, when performed on a truly meaningful thought, can produce something quasi-independently important in itself, like: "Waste, want."

Context Dropping

The reason the modern world of thinking has been perverted by context dropping, or as logicians call it, the "fallacy of suppressed evidence," is that few people realize that all phenomena everywhere are interconnected. For example, if you search enough, you can discover meaningful relationships between, say, the color of a particular lipstick and the price of tamales in Tijuana.

Although connections between given phenomena may not be relevant to a particular issue, surprisingly often they are - we just won't allow ourselves to see ALL the influences at play in most cases. Thus context dropping is really a symptom of closed mindedness.