Moving Forward

"I'm not so much about the why. I'm more about What can you do differently moving forward?" - Patty Sneed, the best counselor I've ever had.

If I had a nickel for every mental health professional I've told my story to, I could pay off Donald Trump's billions in debt and then maybe he wouldn't feel such pressure to pay his undocumented workers bare subsistence wages - a win for everyone. And I'm not the only one who went to therapy under the impression that all you have to do is dig through your painful past until you understand yourself and then you'll be cured. Twenty-five years after my first therapy session, however, I'm still telling my story and I can still know exactly why I shouldn't smoke and do it anyway.

When I told a friend I start the first class in a psychology PhD Monday, she said, "Good, then when you're Doctor Hanley maybe you can refer me to someone who can fix me."

After explaining that I won't be that kind of doctor, I said, "Anyway, I can fix you now with three simple words: 'Make healthy choices.'"

She protested, "I'm trying to do that!"

I said, "I know. But you'll notice none of the three words were 'pain-free.' or 'easy.'"